The last two weeks...

Have been great.

I'd be willing to give you just a tremendous amount of detail to satisfy your desperate need to know everything about me, and details there are, but I think I'll make those available only upon request, because otherwise it will take a long time to type and I'm lazy. Here's the summary, though:

The week with Michael was great. I wasn't entirely expecting that. It was, though. I really enjoyed his company and my time spent with him, more than I think I did when we were together. That might be a terrible thing to say, but it's true. The week was spent acting very couplish, which I didn't really want in the beginning, but I fell into it because I'm like that. An accusation (/observation) he made when we were together is that I'm always only interested in whatever's in front of me at the time. I think he's right. We've talked about it since the visit. All in all, I feel comfortable with my relationship with him, and enjoyed the visit.

The train ride home was great. I spent most of the day just watching scenery fly by, and I love it. I didn't get the chance to talk to lots of strangers. Well, I had the chance, but I was so caught up with the view, I didn't interact much. I was, during the night, assaulted by a drunk woman (not exclusively - she hit some other guy), and so we all had fun with that. Following the event, I did get to talk to people. I was also given a recommendation by a conductor after telling her that I'd be interested in doing her job (new dream, maybe?). That's cool.

I've spent the last week chilling out, doing a little business. I'm seeking out some jobs and info on transferring to SJSU, all of which are proving fruitful so far. Progress on setting up Merrillspace 2.0 is slow in going, but it is going, so...yeah.

There are two guys I met online. One, Kyle, months and months ago, one, Donald, a smaller number of months ago. I've been chatting with each of them since we met. I was talking to Donald on the train from my phone, and he offered to do dinner the next night when I got back. I said yes, we met, it was nice. Then, days later, I'm talking to Kyle and he says he's going to be playing nerdy board games with some friends, and invites me along. I accept. So he picks me up and we go to his friends' place, and I'm sitting there on the floor when the door opens up, and who should walk in but Donald. It broke my mind a little. Anyway, so that group all knows each other, and I spent the night hanging out with these four people who are pretty chill. I had a good time, and I hope to do it again (I am owed a trip to get froyo, so I'm holding them to that).

Also, Misfits, Merlin, Futurama...Netflix and Hulu own my life right now. I love those shows, though.

Railrider

Portland Union Station.

I love trains.

I love the high windows, the tall ceilings, the long benches, the clocks, the bustle, the calls for incoming and departing trains. Airports are nice, sure, but they're too sleek. All the train stations I've been in retain a sort of olden charm. They're so grand. This is probably my favorite form of transport. God-damned delightful.

So the wedding yesterday was great. My aunt and uncle's place is brilliant, and the two weddees are fun people who made sure they had a fun wedding (they met in an MMO). Here are some shots:

The bride and groom in a handfasting.

Each table's centerpiece was as such.

A LBP-themed cake.

Also worth noting is that the wedding was the first time in years and years that all six cousins from our branch of the family have been in the same place.

Joyous.

Also worth noting is there was a very good-looking guy with a camera sitting near me during the ceremony. That was nice.

Anyway, so following the festivities, I headed back to the hotel and slept until my parents left for the airport at around six in the morning. I didn't get back to sleep after that, so instead I hooked up my computer to the TV and watched Futurama on Netflix (I'm nerding out about this HDMI shit), stopping for breakfast, and then again around 10:30 so I could check out and go hang out at my aunt and uncle's again, where my grandparents were. Two and a half hours ago, my grandfather took me to the train station. I got situated and eventually boarded (while in line to board, I saw a really cute guy and left him a note telling him he's gorgeous. I dropped it on the bench beside him from behind and walked away, so I don't know what his reaction was.

Fun story: I was at the Mini-Gourmet in a group when a really good-looking guy came in and began dining alone beside us. I picked up his tab. Several weeks later I was all alone at 3:00 in the morning, and some stranger picked up my tab. I profited by about 14 bucks in that karmic transaction.

So now I'm on the train, heading towards Seattle. I'm an hour into three and a half hour trip. It's wonderful, and now I'm really looking forward to my full day's trip back to San Jose in a week.

That's all for now.

A wild Gazelle appears!

So today was my first day in Portland in years. I woke up very confused. I was having a dream involving Mr. Burns and Smithers, and a train falling through a trap door over a vine-covered wall, and me and some people crashing a wedding rehearsal, or possible a baby shower. Then there came a knocking, and I was just really confused, because I found myself a: on a very large, very comfortable surface; b: I was in total darkness; c: there was a knocking in the distance. Those things don't usually happen to me right after I wake up, especially not in conjunction. I trusted I was probably safe, though, and waited for something in my environment to explain itself to me. My mother going and telling housekeeping that we were all asleep, and I remembered.

The whole room was up and about shortly thereafter, and we headed down to breakfast, where we encountered several relatives. After hanging out for a while, my mother, father and I headed to Gazelle, which is a natural fiber clothing store my aunt (mother of the bride tomorrow) owns. My mother had the idea we should shop for our wedding clothes there, so we did. They have a limited mens' section, and even less in my size, but I found two shirts I'll be wearing together tomorrow, one of which, this corduroy button-up shirt, I might start wearing around just generally, 'cause it's pretty tight. I then spent a lot of time being my mother's shopping buddy, which turned out to be sort of fun.

Want to know a secret? I'm (as I will occasionally be) interested in reimaging, at least a little. I think I might try to take more of an interest in shopping, and appearance in general. We'll see how that goes.

After we left Gazelle, we headed over to my aunt and uncle's house, where the wedding will be held in the garden.

This shit if for serious, yo.

While there, my cousins and I devised Disaster Island Corporation, Extreme, which sounded like a fun business to own, and which one cousin then realized abbreviates to D.I.C.E., which just made it all the more awesome. I decided it should be a really classy American fare restaurant.

Then we helped do some miscellaneous setup and then stuck around for the rehearsal dinner, before finally heading back to the hotel, where I am now, hanging out with my two cousins and my aunt from California, one of whom I won't get to see again for a long time. Two of us are on computers, and two on portable gaming devices. It's really intense silent bonding.

So tomorrow the wedding will happen, and then I'll make my way north. I'm sure we'll talk soon, my dearest, loyal, very invested reader(s? Probably not plural). Goodnight.

Portlandia, abridged

So I'm in Portland. All I've seen so far are the airport and hotel. Tomorrow is my one day to do things, and then the wedding, and then I go to Seattle.

A lot of today was spent with the airlines. One thing I realized is that I'm a little hesitant to leave the terminals, where they have those signs advising you that once you pass, you can't come back through. I mean, it's not like I have any business in the airport once I'm off my flight, but still. As I walk through that little room I almost want to stop and think about it for a little while, just to make sure. Now, I don't, because TSA would probably tackle and tase me, and I'm not really into that.

I'm pretty sure I came here with something really inspiring to talk about, but I can't remember what that was. It's probably for the best, since I should sleep soon. Oh, fun fact: the TSA agent who checked my ID was named Swain. I didn't know that was a name.

Anyway, I just pulled up Origin on Netflix, so I'll lie back in the dark with that. Shout out to Sean, who I'm awfully fond of. Goodnight.

Eight years, baby, you and me.

So today is the eighth year anniversary of my being diagnosed with diabetes. Woo-boy. You'd think it's about time for me to stop eating like I'm a 10-year-old who'll live forever, but nope.


Maybe I am a 10-year-old who will live forever.


I still have another four years before I've been diabetic half my life, so I'll just pin the health habits on still being used to non-diabetes-ness, which still makes up the majority of my years.

Tomorrow I go to Portland, Oregon, for the wedding of my third-oldest cousin (number four of us all, but I'm the runt). I was there the week before I was diagnosed, as it happens. I wouldn't stop drinking or going to the bathroom. I even got to go on a very special private tour of a USFWS animal forensics lab, but the whole time I just complained that I was thirsty. Heh.

I've been to Portland just once since then, in 2007. It was in that same visit west that I first saw Cogswell. My mother and I then drove up the coast and took part in a family reunion.

So fun story: a few summers ago I was with my sister in her car while she was listening to old voicemails. Our service will save them for so many days, but then erase them if you don't save them again, so she gives them a listen-through regularly. One message comes on, beginning with something like, "it's the happiest message ever!" It was a young man wishing Laurel well and wishing she was wherever he was. Then other people came on and started expressing similar sentiments. I felt a tinge of envy. Envy at my sister for having friends who cared about her like that, and envy at the people giving the message for making such a fun call. I felt socially inadequate. By maybe the third or fourth person on the call, though, it struck me: these were my cousins speaking. It was from that '07 reunion, which Laurel didn't make it to. It had been me who said it was the happiest message ever. It had been my idea.

Alright then. Maybe I'm more fun than I thought. I should try to tap into that more.

Anyway, so I now have less than a day to pack, but the laundry's done, so it should be fine. I was thinking of taking another walk to town and going to Subway, but at this point I probably won't. I'll probably spend today playing Oblivion, and then finally packing at aroudn 9:00 tomorrow. What fun.

Fun fact: I almost didn't want to make ths post, because up until I hit the publish button, the archive sidebar on the blog, beginning in May, will list the months' total entries as 1, 2, 3 and 4. I'm about to go and fuck it up, though. Tsk.

Live from the bottom eastern corner of a dark house by the woods...

I leave on Friday - the shuttle shows up at 12:30. Between now and then I'll have to take care of some packing, which pretty much just means doing some laundry and throwing it all in a bag.

I've been saturating myself with junk food and video game (not plural) and TV and old movies, and as of last night, the amazing outdoors I grew up with and have recently ignored. Last night I took my pillow and comforter out on the deck and slept there naked. It was pretty fucking fantastic. I awoke to see the dawn, which was gorgeous, since we have an eastern view, and then fell asleep again for a large part of the day.

I won't even try to sort through the personal realizations I've had reecntly, because the most significant one is that it's pretty much always the same. I go through the same cycles all the time, and arrive at similar conclusions that don't really modify my world view enough to make it worth mentioning, and even beyond that, these realizations are nothing that every other human hasn't/won't go(ne) through, so...I'll keep my relevations to myself and save everybody the trouble of dealing with redundant dramatic drivel.

Incidently, that leaves me with nothing else to report. Buh-bye.

So this totally just happened

I'll let it speak for itself.

[censored for privacy]

[Guy] is mobile 1:11 am
Online: 8d 23h 47m
[Merrill] 1:12 am Hello.
[Guy] is mobile 1:13 am
[Guy] 1:13 am Hi. Who is this?
[Merrill] 1:14 am Strange and possibly awkward story. We met once, online, somewhere, and you've been on a (old) buddy list of mine for years.
[Guy] 1:15 am Oh yeah? What is your name?
[Merrill] 1:15 am We never really talked. I saw you online, and thought I'd say hi, in case you'd care to chat.
[Guy] 1:16 am What is your name? How did we meet?
[Merrill] 1:16 am I'm Merrill. I feel as though you may have messaged me on MySpace about two years ago, if that makes any sense.
[Guy] 1:17 am Hmm, I don't think so. I haven't been on myspace in like 5 years...
[Merrill] 1:17 am Heh, you and the world. Well then, perhaps it was elsewhere. I believe you had recently moved to Hagerstown, or something. Or I could be mixing up details all over the place. Sorry if that's the case.
[Guy] 1:19 am Hmm, I still don't think I know who you are...
[Merrill] 1:19 am That doesn't surprise me. We didn't really talk. It was like, "hey there, we should talk sometime," but then that didn't happen So feel free to send me off, I won't be offended. I thought thought saying hello could be interesting.
[Guy] 1:21 am Yeah, I still have no idea who you are... Sorry!
[Merrill] 1:22 am Really: this is basically me saying, "hi, we met on the street once and I've had your number for ages but never called."
[Guy] 1:22 am Hahaha
[Merrill] 1:23 am So I'm really not worried about you remembering me. Honestly, I don't even remember your name. I know you are (were?) a DJ. And were sort of sweet, and I listened to you online once...once. That's about all.
[Guy] 1:24 am Hahaha! Uhm, nope! You must have me confused with someone else.
[Merrill] 1:24 am That's very baffling, especially since the screen name I'm IMing is totally suggestive of Deejaying. This is weird. Well, alright then. Have a nice life.
[Guy] 1:26 am What does it say my IM is?
[Merrill] 1:26 am dj[something] But you're mobile. Perhaps the screen name is still associated with a number that's changed hands.
[Guy] 1:26 am Whoa. That's not even my screen name. I'm super confused! Yeah
[Merrill] 1:27 am Well now you know.
[Guy] 1:27 am Yeah, I don't know why it says that